Adult League Hockey: What Your Arrival Time Says About You

Us adult league players have crazy schedules. Combine work, marriage, kids, hobbies, and happy hours it’s apparent we have a never-ending list of commitments. And none of these responsibilities change the fact we’re expected to be dressed and ready to compete in a hockey game at 11PM on a Tuesday.

Preparing for late-night hockey games varies by player. Some guys get to the rink at the very last second (Last Second Larry), most get there 10 – 15 minutes before the game (Punctual Pierre) and some get there with plenty of time to kill (Tommy Too Soon). These arrivals not only impact the locker room and warm-ups, but they also indicate a little more about the player beneath the smelly pads.

Last Second Larry

Last Second Larry walks into the rink as most guys are pulling their jerseys on and the Zamboni is finishing up. He bursts into the locker room, throws down his bag and wastes no time getting dressed. He’ll likely join the game after it’s started, but, to everyone’s astonishment, sometimes he gears up fast enough to make it on the bench in time for the opening draw.

Last Second Larry only tapes his twig if it’s absolutely needed, and if so, he does it on the bench, otherwise, he’ll make do with a sloppy tape job. Surprisingly, amongst all the chaos this beauty is one of the best players on the team, able to be game ready with a flip of a switch. And even if he doesn’t play well you’ll hear him chirping on and off the bench.

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Constantly in a rush to the rink, Last Second Larry might be a parent of 3+ kids, live far from the rink, or be a bachelor who’s come straight from happy hour with a Tinder date. For the 4 minutes he spends in the locker room he’s often the center of attention, sharing stories and cracking jokes. Larry never responds to the team’s group chat or email chain to confirm he’s playing — he’s a game-time decision. Reliability aside, Last Second Larry’s late arrival is always welcomed by the team.

Punctual Pierre

After years of playing at every rink in a 100-mile radius, Punctual Pierre knows exactly how long it takes to get to the game and the perfect amount of time needed in the locker room. For an adult league player, 15-20 minutes is plenty of time to get dressed and beak a few teammates.

Punctual Pierre hates being rushed in the locker room and prefers to get a fresh tape job in before warm ups. As the Zamboni leaves the ice, Pierre throws on his bucket en route to the ice. He gets a few laps in, moves the puck around, and snipes the tendy’s pads in traditional warm-up fashion before the real show begins.

Pierre’s game is simple and reliable, enjoying a good sweat with the squad. Away from the ice he always books the first appointment of the day, so there’s never an excuse for waiting for his doctor or mechanic. Pierre is organized, dependable, likely has a Hockey Players Club membership, and prefers briefs over anything more adventurous. Who doesn’t love a teammate they can count on?

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Tommy Too Soon

You’ll find Tommy Too Soon in the locker room at least 30 minutes before the opening draw — an eternity in the adult league world with no coaches to review the night’s lineup and game plan. There to claim his spot, prepare his BioSteel, and comfortably tape both twigs in preparation for the night’s big game, Tommy Too Soon is reliable, responsible and on top of his shit.

Unlike a vast majority of adult league players, Tommy’s warm-up begins when the Zamboni takes the ice and Last Second Larry walks in the rink. Rather than chirping with the squad in the room, you might see him half-dressed and stickhandling in the hallway. Regrettably, all the warm-up time in the world won’t change tonight’s performance.

Tommy Too Soon prefers the top-of-the-line compression shorts to fully support intense bursts of backchecking. Like any upstanding hockey citizen, his bag is well-stocked with tape and the necessary accessories. We’re not sure if Tommy’s suffering from an overbearing spouse at home or in need of more excitement in his life, but we do know he takes full advantage of every minute he can spend at the rink… and who can blame him for that?!

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Which one are you? And did we miss any characteristics we should add? Comment below!

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