By Kris Weaver of the Beer League Tribune
While most players and teams look forward to beer league hockey for a fun and relaxed 60-75 minutes of hockey, others, at all levels, take it way too seriously.
Here is a list of the many ways we have seen it taken way…way too seriously…
A guy comes in with headphones. You know this guy is not screwing around and he is all business. (I found players with headphones, probably can’t use the photos but not sure)
Team Sewerball. Nothing wrong with a game of two touch, but maybe not for the 10:30 beer league game.
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Organized dressing room. I get it if you’re giving out new jerseys to set it up in a cool way for the guys. However, setting up a stall seems a bit much. *(100% guilty of this and get a few chirps every few months)
Arriving an hour plus early. It’s not a team rule, you don’t need to be there more than 25 min early (and that’s if you’re the goalie) otherwise get there when the zam gets on and you have 15 minutes.
Team Warm-ups. Full team warm-ups especially those that include team stretches for beer league are just a bit overboard.
Head high clappers. We all have to go to work tomorrow. The guy working the concession stand wearing a black CCM polo isn’t a scout…he’s a concession stand worker and probably watching YouTube or doing homework, not your game.
Checking. We pay to be here. We’re not as young as we used to be and getting shouldered to the ice will have us sitting sideways in our work chair all week. And I promise you, there aren’t scouts in the stands. Enough said?
Swearing at the ref. Have you ever seen a ref change his mind? And better yet, how much do you think this guy gets paid to care about your C league game at 10:30 PM?
Breaking a stick over boards, net, teammate. You’re not sponsored or play for a team that gives you free sticks, remember??
Diving in front of pucks. As a goalie, I appreciate it but I also understand you might have an in person or zoom meeting where you might look a little funny with a black eye or missing teeth.
Coaching Players. Do you really need to yell at your team or tell them where to go every other shift? And line matching, power play, and penalty kill units are way over the top.
I have also seen actual coaches for beer league — no joke a team paid a St.Louis Blues scout to be their coach…just why?!
Fights. Fights in beer league are always a treat. I have seen some good ones from bench-clearing brawls, to sucker punches, to solid takedowns from behind. But for what?
Swearing at the other team during handshakes. Always a classic: “good game, good game, f*ck you, good game.”
Team Player Awards. Seriously?!
Cool downs. The post-game bike ride or hot tub. Either have a beer with the team or go home.
Tailgating. I’ve seen guys bring coolers, grills, and tv’s for after the game or skate. And to be honest, no hate here, but it’s a bit much when it’s Wednesday at 12:00 AM.
We all take it a tad over the top sometimes, but it goes to show you the passion hockey players of all ages have for the game!