Hockey players are some of the biggest beauties walking this planet. And although we’re all unique – varying pregame routines, playing styles, and favorite winner-beer quickly come to mind – we share commonalities that bind us into one of the coolest niche communities in existence. It’s like being in the coolest fraternity, only way cooler.
Through years of early morning practices, heated on-ice battles alongside our teammates, and an exorbitant amount of time spent together off the ice, we’ve grown to embrace a bevy of new jargon and hockey specific ‘delicacies.’ Things you can really only understand and love if you’re a hockey player.
If you’re not a hockey player, sorry, this list isn’t for you. But if what’s listed below immediately excites emotions and memories, then you’re definitely a hockey player!
If you understand the joy of an empty, fresh sheet…
If this is how you pick teams…
If some fresh sauce will make you stop in awe…
Watch sauce. Feel shame. 👀 #holymoly A video posted by Hockey Players Club (@hockeyplayersclub) on
If you think thighs are the new bi’s…
Martin St. Louis’ tree trunks
If you have a large, muscular butt…
If your twig is one of your most prized possessions…
If you unconsciously quote Slapshot the movie…
If you know what apples, benders, chiclets, chirps, clappers, ginos, grinders, mitts, soft dumps and twisted wristers are…
If you avoid tape mooches…
If you and your teammates get along like “lamb and tuna fish”…
The greatest hockey duo ever assembled. #howistherenotabaconemoji A photo posted by Hockey Players Club (@hockeyplayersclub) on
If you recognize the Stanley Cup as the greatest trophy ever made and celebrated…
If all you want to do is dangle, snipe, celly…
If you have bone spurs on your heels, affectionately known to some as ‘Bauer bumps’…
If you’re tougher than your non-hockey friends…
Double tap if you think hockey players are the toughest athletes in the world! A photo posted by Hockey Players Club (@hockeyplayersclub) on
If you wish life was more like hockey…
If you wished you lived here…
If you know hockey is the greatest game ever created…
…then you’re definitely a hockey player!
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Are you a member of the awesome hockey tape subscription service, the Hockey Players Club? If not, save yourself time and money and join now!
